Five Things I've Learned from Opening a Private Practice
Mandi Pierson,lisw-s, Co-Founder and Director, Porchlight
This week, Porchlight celebrates five years of being in business! I couldn't be more thankful for the work we get to do. What a privilege it is to hear your stories. Early in my career, I found myself in awe of the capacity my clients had, and I recall thinking, “These women could run the world!” It took experience and a whole lot of grace from my clients before I realized that, for some of us, a mountain of trauma stands between us and our true capacity. Since those early days, I've adopted the adage, “Until further notice, celebrate everything.” Every small step is a win and a move toward a better version of ourselves. So today, we celebrate Porchlight and everyone who has been a part of these five years!
In celebration of these five years, here’s a personal note on things I’ve learned since we turned our light on:
Have Fun and Be Yourself
Recently, my mom shared that when she was a kid leaving the house for a night with friends, my grandfather routinely reminded her on the way out the door, “Have fun and be yourself.” In this field, we talk about generational trauma a lot, but for me, her story felt like generational affirmation. I’ve never been great at being anyone else—spoiler alert, I’m not sure anyone thrives at being someone they aren't. Time and time again, when my work aligns with my passion, expertise, and boundaries, success proves to be inevitable. In a world where only about half of all small businesses survive to see five years, it can be tempting to do what brings in more business, ultimately at the cost of authenticity and sustainability.
There are few things more energizing than being in your groove. That doesn’t make the work easy; it makes it worth it.
As for having fun, this isn’t guac at Chipotle. Joy is the standard. I have to have a little fun along the way. Shared jokes, a keenly honed dark humor, enjoying the wins of those I work with and keeping a light heart, even in holding space for overwhelming pain.
The Power of Community
Porchlight is the direct result of community—people coming together with passion, curiosity, humor, and a belief that we had something to offer. As our idea began to grow, we shared the concept of Porchlight with our friends, colleagues, peers, and mentors. We were met with enthusiasm, offers to help, and “What are you waiting for?” All of that before our doors ever opened. Since then, our supporters have celebrated us, promoted us, and responded to texts desperate for encouragement when we had to learn new things (ahem…insurance billing).
For all the support we’ve received in the last five years, I feel most humbled by how our community trusted us. You have referred your friends, neighbors, kids, and colleagues. You’ve shared the good work we do with others. Frankly, there is no greater honor than being trusted to care for the people you hold dear.
People are Rooting for You
There are countless statistics about how loudly we hear our critics. Research from The Gottman Institute says we need to receive five compliments for every one piece of criticism. Our safety-seeking brain is always looking for ways to keep us out of trouble, sometimes even to our own demise. (Brains, man.) For me, each new hiccup provided a megaphone to the critics, both internal and external, and I rarely stopped to fact-check those voices. The hard thing was saying it out loud. Letting someone else know I was overwhelmed invited kinder voices of empathy, encouragement, and perspective. It turns out, people were rooting for me! And for Porchlight!
Just Do the Next Right Thing
Borrowing wisdom from my friends in recovery: sometimes (most of the time), the only thing we can do is the next right thing. I’d prefer to make safe choices. I want to move through experiences with the end in mind—eye on the prize kind of thinking. If I had known the challenges of owning a small business ahead of time, if someone had laid out a map for me to be fully informed, I would have politely declined (or, more accurately, run out of the room with my hair on fire). Knowing what you want is good, but being too deeply attached to the outcome can lead to a lot of disappointment…even a trauma response (flight, fight, or freeze). Had the path been clearly laid out for me, I would have been overwhelmed by what I didn’t know yet. Success, one slow, sometimes uncertain step at a time, is still success.
I Am My Own Priority
Part of healing is realizing what a privilege it is to care for myself. I am the only one who has been entrusted to care for me from beginning to end. I get to know her. I get to experience her creativity, her emotions, her talents, her shortcomings. If I keep my eyes wide open, I will experience every one of her successes and learn from each of her failed attempts. I will read every page of her story as it’s written. I am responsible for caring for her, and in doing so, I open myself up to care for others. I’ve needed reminders, of course: “Take the vacation,” “When was the last time you painted?” “Should we have nachos and talk this out?” The best version of myself is the one who tends to my own needs, however inconvenient they may seem.
I am confident that we have a long way to go. Porchlight is just getting started. Until further notice, we will keep celebrating everything. To our clients, the biggest of thank yous... and in the words of Taylor Swift, “Long live all the mountains we moved. I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.”